Johnathan Lincoln Lau, MD2019
Face Value is my memoir of a highly volatile point in my life. This poem is 15 haikus connected. The beginning encapsulates my feelings during my culture shock after moving to Toronto, Canada from Kingston, Jamaica circa 2011. More than that, it also embodies my age-old insecurity of having a lip mole (if you know me - you know), and if anybody would ever love me despite having something society deems abnormal right smack-dab in the centre of my face. It's just that, I've realized my insecurities seem so damn stupid compared to the bigger things in life: for one, it ends. Nevertheless, that still lingers with you, as a human, innuh?
The 5th stanza onwards is the story of how I met the love of my life. In finding her I underwent a whirlwind of self-discovery. An infinite pool of love you never knew you had inside you. In this piece, I have tried to symbolize this love as a promise: to shed this carapace of self-limiting struggle in order to grow and love more. I did not write this poem in medical school, but these feelings have definitely carried onto my interactions with people, especially patients: come as you are and I'll do my best to take care of you -- human to human.
My character’s own
identity placed on face
Struggling with others.
Their eyes don’t meet mine.
Am I defined by my flaw,
as ancient worn art?
Like boulders in streams,
resisting torrents a flow,
I, too, must endure.
A truth for all things:
Soon I will be washed away...
crashing waves erode.
Night with scarce starlight;
Black like a charcoal’s shadow;
standing on lush grass,
Gazing upon sky,
I cast my hope, doubt, and love-
echoed in Earth’s throat.
… and it echoed back.
Given to me was beauty,
which made me let go.
Gift of a lifetime;
something not to be squandered-
Only a fool would.
Brown eyes meet, souls dance,
hearts drumming in the moment.
Lightning when we touch.
She is the breeze that
blows away dead leaves in Fall
to allow for Spring.
Leaves rustled by wind
don’t know where they are going,
only that change comes.
Worries wrinkling face,
like fissures caused by earthquakes,
she noticed, asked “why?”
Trembling from within,
facade aside, I convey
IN-SE-CU-RI-TIES.
She whispers in ear,
giving me love endlessly,
“Your lips are now mine.”
The boulder now sees
green moss growing in the cracks.
The stream is at peace.
The 5th stanza onwards is the story of how I met the love of my life. In finding her I underwent a whirlwind of self-discovery. An infinite pool of love you never knew you had inside you. In this piece, I have tried to symbolize this love as a promise: to shed this carapace of self-limiting struggle in order to grow and love more. I did not write this poem in medical school, but these feelings have definitely carried onto my interactions with people, especially patients: come as you are and I'll do my best to take care of you -- human to human.
My character’s own
identity placed on face
Struggling with others.
Their eyes don’t meet mine.
Am I defined by my flaw,
as ancient worn art?
Like boulders in streams,
resisting torrents a flow,
I, too, must endure.
A truth for all things:
Soon I will be washed away...
crashing waves erode.
Night with scarce starlight;
Black like a charcoal’s shadow;
standing on lush grass,
Gazing upon sky,
I cast my hope, doubt, and love-
echoed in Earth’s throat.
… and it echoed back.
Given to me was beauty,
which made me let go.
Gift of a lifetime;
something not to be squandered-
Only a fool would.
Brown eyes meet, souls dance,
hearts drumming in the moment.
Lightning when we touch.
She is the breeze that
blows away dead leaves in Fall
to allow for Spring.
Leaves rustled by wind
don’t know where they are going,
only that change comes.
Worries wrinkling face,
like fissures caused by earthquakes,
she noticed, asked “why?”
Trembling from within,
facade aside, I convey
IN-SE-CU-RI-TIES.
She whispers in ear,
giving me love endlessly,
“Your lips are now mine.”
The boulder now sees
green moss growing in the cracks.
The stream is at peace.
